Feeling Alive

       In the summer of 2001 I was looking for a physical activity to do as part of my Duke of Edinburgh's Award. Due to an evil PE teacher at school combined with very bad asthma I had never been inclined to push myself physically, but I decided that the time had come to try again. I knew immediately that I wanted to practice a martial art, as they had always seemed to have more of a purpose than football or rugby. So, I began to search the Yellow Pages and eventually found two clubs - one for Judo, the other for Karate. I phoned both clubs; they both were held quite a distance from where I live but I knew that this was unavoidable. The people that I spoke to were less than useful; informing me that Karate involved "kicking and stuff". Feeling less than enthusiastic about my choices I pressed on trying to find other clubs; after all if nothing turned up I could always go and see these clubs in action at a later date. It was at this point that I discovered the Traditional Tae Kwon Do Association. So I enquired and was greeted by a polite Scotsman by the name of Mr Shields. He took the time to explain to me what Tae Kwon Do was and what it involved, the training methods and what could be gained from practicing it. Changing my plans I decided to go along as soon as possible and to have a go and see if I liked it. I never did go to the other clubs in the end.

       The first lesson that I attended was definitely a shock to the system, after all I was very unfit and didn't know what to expect. It was like going from zero to sixty instantly. For days afterwards my muscles cried out for mercy, but I kept training. It was overwhelming at first; there was a great deal to get used to. For example there was the etiquette, everyone knew what to do while I just stood there looking helpless. There was also the way in which the club trained, for some reason I was expecting to be hitting punching bags and other things of that nature but instead found that you had to imagine an opponent and be aggressive towards it. Being aggressive to something that wasn't there was very strange. But the important thing is that it never stopped being enjoyable, learning to do new things and learning that I CAN do them. And besides, the strangeness wore of quite quickly.

       Then there was the first grading. I was very nervous, I had never been judged on anything remotely to do with physical ability. I was also highly aware that everyone was going to be watching me. At the same time I was quite interested in what Master Loh was going to be like; I'd never even seen an 8th Dan before. It turned out that Master Loh was very nice and not in the least bit intimidating. I passed the grading, with an A grade pass no less. I've since come to enjoy this nervous feeling just before a grading it makes me feel alive.

       I've been training for one year now and I have never thought about quitting. It has been hard, as I've already said I suffer from asthma (which has improved a great deal) and also have an under active thyroid. Both problems hold me back, but I now regard them as problems that can be overcome and hopefully one day mastered. To all people with asthma - YOU CAN BEAT IT! Aside from the physical aspect, Tae Kwon Do has given me great mental strength. I have greater confidence in myself to deal with difficult problems and people. You will only get from Tae Kwon Do what you are willing to put in, so my advice is to give to give everything. Even if you find something impossible it can be done, in Tae Kwon Do failure only comes from not trying again.